Phone trouble

I love texting.
No, seriously! Okay, I might not do it all that often, but texting (and email, for that matter) has liberated me from the horror that is telephone conversations.
For as long as I can remember I have had an aversion to picking up the phone and calling somebody up. Especially if that someone is a company, a public institution, or even just a dentist. About the only person I can call without becoming a quivering, sweaty (non-sexy) mess with heart palpitations is my mother. Even with friends or boyfriends I find calling to be uncomfortable, although for different reasons; you only call companies and dentists for a specific reason; something you need to ask or arrange or make an appointment about. When there's a random call with a friend either there's no reason - which causes me to flounder for a suitable topic for small-talk - or there is a reason (like essay questions) but you have to jump through interminable social hoops before you can get to the point.

If I want to have a meaningful conversation with a friend or just want to catch up, I make time to see them in person. And if it's not that important or the friend in question is not exactly around the corner, I write an email. On the friend side of things, the reason I hate phone conversations is the 'spontaneity' of it. It puts me on the spot when I'm entirely busy with something else, and it's hard to switch gears like that; I become a stuttering mess and say yes to things I later figure out I should not be saying yes to. And for my efforts I only manage to alienate the other side, since I (so I've been told) sound very unpleasantly surprised and impatient when receiving an unannounced phone call. Not very conducive to friendships, let me tell you. Or love lives, for that matter.

On the other end of the spectrum, as mentioned, are the so-called 'official' phone calls. The ones you just can't get out of, on pain of suffering a tooth ache, paying excessively high electricity bills and not getting the package whose delivery you missed. It simply has to be done. And it is excruciating. Because the people you get on the phone invariably do not enunciate clearly, which means I can hardly ever understand them and sound like a complete moron answering a question far too late because I've only just figured out what they said. And that is when they actually understand what I'm on about. You'd start hyperventilating for less. No wonder that I usually try to avoid this by using email, or (as a last resort) going to see them in person. You'd think the last one would be even worse, but somehow being able to see someone's face when talking to them helps a lot. Though I fear that does not make me seem any less of an idiot.

The reason I felt the need to talk about this little handicap is the fact that I'm currently in the situation where I need to phone a library. In German. About the possibilities of copying Japanese newspapers. Not really an average request, and my German is elementary at best. I would love to send an email, but that would take too long, I wouldn't be sure they actually understand what I need, and I fear the back-and-forth of emails would take far too much time; I'm on a rather tight deadline here. So I've been delaying and delaying (along the lines of: "oh, it's the weekend! Can't call now!" and "Oh, it'll be lunch time! Can't call now!" and "But I need a shower first! Can't call now!" and the kicker "Oh, it's too near closing time and they'll be wanting to go home and not pay attention to me! Can't call now!"), and the window of opportunity is shrinking as I type.
 Tomorrow has to be the day. I can't afford any more delays, or my dissertation will be up shit creek without a paddle.
So, tomorrow morning it is, no more excuses.

By the way, did I tell you that another one of my handicaps is a tendency to procrastination?